Sorry for the lack of updates. I've been busy with almost everything from work to attending 'tahlil', random visits to my tailor shop, family gatherings etc. So yeah, work has been bitchy to me lately.. I dunno why but I jus don't have that great mood anymore to even do my work. I don't enjoy it lately and its reli frustrating. I told my colleague about it and he felt the same. Something is not right with myself.. i have been feeling ultimately boring going to work. It reli sux but then... apart of me telling me not to give up.. what is actually affecting my mood rite now?? MashaALLAH, show me a sign pls~

Anyway, i went to KB laznite to meet up with my beloved best buddies Abe & Abg Saed. Its been awhile since i last met them. We met not long ago like last week during our 'tahlil' session @ the office but we didn't chill out after that. That is why i decided to chill out with them before Ramadhan comes. I know i will be very busy during Ramadhan since i have classes to attend, sports activities, terawih session, family gatherings, sungkai gatherings with the cousins & friends etc. Nuthin much in KB tho.. we went to simpur to try out the Ahad's burger and i loveeeeeeeeeeee it! Left KB around midnite and YES IT WAS a bit scarry to drive all alone from KB to BSB. Yikess.. syukuralhamdulillah i arrived home safely around 1ish. I know its crazy but damnnn.. it was a last minute plan.

I am DAMN BORED rite now.. i am going to put myself to sleep soon enuff! Oh yes, i met 'M' last week. We were supposed to watch movie together but unfortunately we missed the movie so i decided to just cruise around. What wonders me that nite was dat.. I dunno what i feel when he is there rite infront of my eyes... talking to me.. walking beside me.. smiling, laughing, eating bla bla bla. I am happy tho getting to meet him after for so long. The last time we met was last June. We have been good friends eversince but whenever i'm out with him, he alwez treat me special. It is what i've alwez wanted things to be.. sweet & romantic. Apart from that, I am thinking of someone else when he's with me. WHY? I wanted to tell him that i was feeling kinda down at that moment but i don't wanna spoil his mood since he was kinda enjoying his time with me and was very happy.

He had been so nice to me that nite and pretty much caring about my life. I updated him about my life and what i have been duin. I still miss him sometimes but after having a long thinking, i am better off just friends with him. He deserved to be wit someone else. He deserved to be happy.. i don't know whether he will be happy with me or not if we're back together. Better don't think about it. I am missing the other particular someone rite now. I know i should not feel this way but it's unavoidable. I tried to but he made me fall for him. I can't help it but i wanna take things easy. He didn't call or even text me like he used to anymore. And HE deserved to be happy too with someone else i guess. I can't tell him how i feel since we have nothing in between yet. I can pretty much say i'm too shy to tell him how i feel towards him. Frankly, I am not hoping for anything but I don't want him to change the way he treated me. He used to alwez be there for me during my day and nite. He used to call me almost everyday and now he stopped. Whenever i am not around, he would texted or even called me sometimes at least more den 4 times a day.

When you have someone who concerned about urself too much, you tend to feel that you're special. You're being loved. I do not need to be in a relationship to feel this love but I just want to be treated the way i've alwez been treated all this while. Day by day, I am trying to stay calm and trying so hard to control this feelings. I know i have a lot of friends around me but I don't know why.. HE CAN MAKE ME SAD JUST THINKING ABT HIM! Its so frustrating.....!!! I do not wish to be treated nicely at the first place but things just get overboard and now these feelings is getting more everyday. Sigh. But its alrite, Allah have better plans for us in the future and i believe that. I hope for this sadness to end. Its breaking my heart just thinking about it. I don't know if it is LOVE but hopefully, things can change.. I wanna be the girl who i used to be. The happy smiley girl... *pout*

♥ Mellicious
11:50 PM